ren sheng ben lai
jiu shi yi zhi zai
huan peng you de

you shen me hao zi qi de?
fa shen me sheng jing zai na li 'zi bao zi qi'
right right?

嗯

郁闷
郁闷得很
他们说
每天臭臭脸
会越来越少朋友
原来是真的
与人 越来越 距离
痛 不懂 怎样
能 做什么

为了fit in
而改变的我
好累
我的自己
无法 容纳 任何 位置 吗
等到 死 吗
我 真正 是 怎样
到底 我 是 谁
镜子里的我 为什么 还活着站在这里
她感觉我所感觉
看我所看
做我所做
如果我是他
感觉是 怎样
如果我是他
如果我是她
感觉是 又怎样
你没想过 吗

每次人看到我 这么 无聊
写酱东西
就叫我去睡觉
虽然 我等一下 真的去睡觉
但是 睡觉 起来
去上班
回来
还是想一样 东西
等一下 又发脾气
等一下 有妒忌什么什么
不累才怪
也弄到别人 累
所以
差一点 变成 冷冷的
冰冷 可怕 的 女人
所以
越来越 少 知己

最近 才冒险 给自己 机会
相信 有 好朋友
一直以来 觉得 不敢 不配
现在 还是 一点点 怕怕
保留 一点点 也好
好像 好长
你也累了 我也累了
去睡觉
明天 会更好吗

Sunflowers

Read title. Yes. Sunflowers. Well its my favourite flower. Not very feminine, not exactly masculine. I remember it is when i was young, i saw my sister plucking a neighbour's sunflower plant. I forgot why she need it for but i know i love the colour, shape and its strong stem because i can see how she struggles to pluck it away. It seems as though it is hard to be conquered.. Then, for some reason we've got sunflower seeds. We plant it in a pot and watch it grow day by day. In a blink it has grown into a humongous yellow flower. I was short then of course. Looking up to see this stretching plant i felt satisfied. Every night we would make it stand in the middle of the lawn and watch the water sprinkle on it from the watering hose. One day it died. Our maid put it out to the sun and we hav even more seed. Seeing it just once is enough. Came to melbourne, i tried to plant it but it didn't last long of course. Such scorching weather kills it after it has grown so FAT. It is so beautiful i dunno why. If i were to ask a gift I'd like to have a sunflower farm, FULL of sunflowers. I am so much opposite to this flower. I'm fragile, hate the sun, and dull. When i'm upset, i got angry to cover my sadness; ppl think i am crazy and cold hearted. When i make mistakes, even little ones; i try to blame others or just got angry, again. LOL. When im scared of ppl's reaction, i lol-ed. When im shy, i lol-ed. My actions contradicts to my so call principles i set for myself. My heart felt to do things that contradicts to 'what i should do'. Choosing b/t caring too much and not care at all. I hate making conclusions. Conclusions doesnt have to be positive? Do i have to say oh like the sunflower i should be bla bla? Mayb i like and hate the way i am now. Maybe i like the fact that i hate myself. If you dun get it i understand. Prob nobody is as crazy as me. Im crazily in love and in hatred. OF myself.

weeeeeeeeeeeee~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This video is part of what we showed in the presentation today...
crunch time!!!!





bai!

My uni life

This post is for who still dunno what i am really doing in my uni course... maybe this will be most useful for Mum.. haha! But anyways....

Well basically my course is game design, we learn various aspects of making a game, from photoshoping skills to how to create a character or using existing game engines to make it work in game; i.e. gameplay, creating game levels, use created 3D art to make it fleshed out in the game!

These are some screenshots of what I have done last semester.... As you can see we have neglected the scale of the train! We have too much to do and we forgot to see the overall picture of the project...

And.... we have made an alteration quite significantly.. Yea that thing on top is a trigger ignore that haha.. So i want to achieve a slightly desaturated 1800 survival horror theme... going away from the 'pretty' look...
still in progress obviously......

And.... we are still looking for GAME MUSIC MAKERS!! Bear in mind, this is a free game... It would be an opportunity to show off ur music making skills in a game mod made by serious modders.... if u r interested email me.

Tada!

如果你有
用不完的盐
用不完的油
用不完的面粉
用不完的糖
和
用不完的的米。。。

你会拿来干嘛？

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toes stroking wires
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