A Shoe

A shoe
A new shoe
can be so exciting
so fresh so many hopes
so many expectations

When you walk on the streets
When you look down to your feet
All the wonders will take you whenever you go
The more you wear
The more it mould itself to your feet

You love it
You love it more
You love it even more

Pretty
Bright
Comfy
Brilliant
Perfect

All the good things
you can think of
No matter what people say
You want to hold on

It loves you
so much
Protect your little feet
from sharp stones
from rain
mud puddle dirt
It wishes to stay with you
forever
and so do you

A shoe is still
A s h o e

It will die one day
It will be torn
The sharp stones
The unexpected rain or puddle
The dirt, grease, mud

It does not promise forever
Because you never know when it will vanish
when you will replace your shoe
You love it and it loves you so
It only wishes for a better shoe to replace itself
One day, when it fades...

And the story goes
A new shoe
can be so exciting
so fresh so many hopes
so many expectations

退色
慢慢退色
慢慢变淡变为不存在
没有了 就会好吗
没有了 就真的无动于衷 吗
还是 伤口仍在
只是 习惯了？
还是 一直在骗自己
不能接受现实
还是 硬着 在心底留下那么一点希望
所以到现在 还没有为它留下 一滴 眼泪
是长大
还是麻木
还是变成冰冷
不明白
为什么 伤心流眼泪是觉得很痛苦
为什么 因该伤心的时候 掉不出眼泪也那么痛苦
什么是该与不该
什么是 顺其自然
什么是 孝敬父母
全是 垃圾
垃圾应该被送到外太空 永远消失
我也该被送到外太空去
想emo时就emo
想开心就开心
别人不能改变一个人的心理
自己作怪
很长人一直在等待别人给与注意
所以emo
所以很明显
怕你看不见
等到失望
等到 绝望
绝望到不要有任何表情

今天上班迟到
真是的
迟到 迟到 迟到
干吗不早一点睡
明知道自己是 一定！要打扮的。。
呵呵....

明天好期待
要参加同事的婚礼
没参加过印度人的婚礼
满是好奇
虽然是二十一世纪
他们应该会保留一些印度文化吧
嗯！
猜猜看 我明天 穿什么
是的 就是 sari!
哇 我没穿过的 希望会好看。。
叫我同事拍多一点照片
哎呀 好紧张！！
嘻嘻。。。。。

明天会是什么样

ren sheng ben lai
jiu shi yi zhi zai
huan peng you de

you shen me hao zi qi de?
fa shen me sheng jing zai na li 'zi bao zi qi'
right right?

嗯

郁闷
郁闷得很
他们说
每天臭臭脸
会越来越少朋友
原来是真的
与人 越来越 距离
痛 不懂 怎样
能 做什么

为了fit in
而改变的我
好累
我的自己
无法 容纳 任何 位置 吗
等到 死 吗
我 真正 是 怎样
到底 我 是 谁
镜子里的我 为什么 还活着站在这里
她感觉我所感觉
看我所看
做我所做
如果我是他
感觉是 怎样
如果我是他
如果我是她
感觉是 又怎样
你没想过 吗

每次人看到我 这么 无聊
写酱东西
就叫我去睡觉
虽然 我等一下 真的去睡觉
但是 睡觉 起来
去上班
回来
还是想一样 东西
等一下 又发脾气
等一下 有妒忌什么什么
不累才怪
也弄到别人 累
所以
差一点 变成 冷冷的
冰冷 可怕 的 女人
所以
越来越 少 知己

最近 才冒险 给自己 机会
相信 有 好朋友
一直以来 觉得 不敢 不配
现在 还是 一点点 怕怕
保留 一点点 也好
好像 好长
你也累了 我也累了
去睡觉
明天 会更好吗

Sunflowers

Read title. Yes. Sunflowers. Well its my favourite flower. Not very feminine, not exactly masculine. I remember it is when i was young, i saw my sister plucking a neighbour's sunflower plant. I forgot why she need it for but i know i love the colour, shape and its strong stem because i can see how she struggles to pluck it away. It seems as though it is hard to be conquered.. Then, for some reason we've got sunflower seeds. We plant it in a pot and watch it grow day by day. In a blink it has grown into a humongous yellow flower. I was short then of course. Looking up to see this stretching plant i felt satisfied. Every night we would make it stand in the middle of the lawn and watch the water sprinkle on it from the watering hose. One day it died. Our maid put it out to the sun and we hav even more seed. Seeing it just once is enough. Came to melbourne, i tried to plant it but it didn't last long of course. Such scorching weather kills it after it has grown so FAT. It is so beautiful i dunno why. If i were to ask a gift I'd like to have a sunflower farm, FULL of sunflowers. I am so much opposite to this flower. I'm fragile, hate the sun, and dull. When i'm upset, i got angry to cover my sadness; ppl think i am crazy and cold hearted. When i make mistakes, even little ones; i try to blame others or just got angry, again. LOL. When im scared of ppl's reaction, i lol-ed. When im shy, i lol-ed. My actions contradicts to my so call principles i set for myself. My heart felt to do things that contradicts to 'what i should do'. Choosing b/t caring too much and not care at all. I hate making conclusions. Conclusions doesnt have to be positive? Do i have to say oh like the sunflower i should be bla bla? Mayb i like and hate the way i am now. Maybe i like the fact that i hate myself. If you dun get it i understand. Prob nobody is as crazy as me. Im crazily in love and in hatred. OF myself.